a broken heart binded together with barbed wire (drskull666) wrote,
a broken heart binded together with barbed wire

Final Entry

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only person who has realised that I have developed more than one "face." I used to be able to honestly say that what you see is what I am... I've lost it, and I don't know how to get it back... I think this is growing into the biggest reason why I've been having integrity issues as of late, because I'm not even sure, anymore, if I am being honest when I say I don't sell out... because if I was looking from the outside in, I'd probably want to spit in my own face.... what happened, and where the fuck did I go wrong?

I need to start over, I need my life to be back to the basics again, back to surviving, and fuck all the the bullshit I've added on. How do I do it? I don't even know where to begin. The easiest way would be to get out, to move away.... how do I start over, clean slate, without pulling my roots out of the ground?

Where the fuck is Mike Ranlet when I need him........ maybe I should move to Florida to where he is and get an apartment with him, because he is the one friend, the one, the only one, the only root from the beginning that I have left.

All of you... I love the shit out of you, but sometimes I just feel like what I have now is nothing but dead leaves floating down a river..... I really don't have anything left that has always been there.

I'm missing New Fairfield more and more....... something about everyone there being "prep" and not accepting somebody who was, at the time, different, such as me and the 4 or 5 people I hung out with.... it kept me close to myself. I've been pushed adrift now... and I know it... at least I fucking know it

This is my final entry... I'm going underground for the first time in years. I hope everyone enjoyed watching me achieve everything I wanted to achieve, and then become everything I've always hated with a passion.

Peace, Love, and Fuck Off

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